Learning Outcome 1: Demonstrate the ability to approach writing as a recursive process that requires substantial
revision of drafts for content, organization, and clarity (global revision), as well as editing and proofreading (local
revision).
Learning Outcome 4: Be able to critique their own and others’ work by emphasizing global revision early in the
writing process and local revision later in the process.

1. Describe what you learned about your own writing process after completing paper #1.

-What I learned about my own writing process is that I procrastinate way too much. I believe if I didn’t wait until the last possible minute to do this paper I believe I would have gotten a better grade. I believe my own writing is not the best to start and words sound better in my head when I type and forget to fix. What I have learned about my writing is that I need to get better with stronger words and being able to have better punctuation.

2. Which aspect of revision did you focus on most? What changes or adjustments made your essay stronger? Be specific.

-I didn’t exactly have a strong part of my essay. I guess I would say my summary was the strongest part. I did leave out many key aspects of the essay that I did need in my summary.  I believe if I focused more on proofreading and if I focused more on my punctuation I think my essay would have been better.

3. How might you approach Paper #2 differently, from pre-writing to reading/annotating, all the way through the completion of your final draft?

– How I would approach paper #2 differently would be to get better at proofreading. I would also get better at my punctuation and grammar. I believe that if I prepared myself better for this paper I would have gotten a better grade. For the next paper I plan to do more research on the topic and being more prepared.

Peer Review Workshop

Paper #2–ENG 110

Peer Reviewer: Evan Glynos

Essay Writer: Chloe Seccareccio

Directions:

Begin by reading your partner’s paper in its entirety. Then answer the following questions in as much detail as possible. Once you’ve completed this form, save a copy and email it to your partner. Be sure to keep a copy to upload to your ePortfolio’s “Peer Review” page.

I. What is your overall impression of the essay?

Essay is well written with good word choices

II. How appropriate is the title for the subject matter? Does it make you want to read the essay? Can you suggest a better title?

Title makes me want to read right away

III. How effective is the opening Sentence (the “hook”)? Does it attempt to grab the reader’s attention?

It grabs attention right away

IV. Paraphrase the essay’s thesis statement. Is it clear from the start what the essay will focus on?

It is clear on what essay focus is on and very strong

V. Has the writer integrated source material accurately and effectively? Are there at least two instances of sources being Synthesized in support of the writer’s claims?

Yes there are

VI. Are there enough

There are enough sources for this paper

details/examples/evidence in each body paragraph? Which paragraphs could use more support?

VII. What should the writer focus on as they develop their final draft?

Minor grammatical errors but overall on a good track

Peer Review Workshop: Paper #3
 

Essay Writer’s Name: Jake Thomas

Reviewer’s Name: Evan Glynos

Directions: Begin by reading your partner’s paper in its entirety. Next, answer the following questions in as much detail as possible. Feel free to make comments on their essay as well.
Once you’ve completed this form, save a copy and email it to your partner. 

I. Has the writer met the following basic requirements?

    NO      At least 5 full pages of text?

   YES       MLA page numbering, heading, and attached Works Cited page (at least 3 sources)?

   YES      Accurate in-text citations and appropriate “signal” phrases?

   YES     The first sentence of the introduction is clearly a “hook” or “lead” 

    NO      The conclusion leaves the reader with something to think about.

II. Is the essay’s thesis statement clear and compelling? As the reader, do you understand exactly what the author plans to cover and why?

Yes the thesis statement is very clear and easy to understand what I was going to be reading

III. Source Integration

-Has the writer relied too heavily on direct quotes/outside sources?

No has used sources from text we had to read
-Has the writer neglected to use enough source material?

Writer has used enough sources

-Has the writer integrated source material smoothly and accurately?

Yes has done a good job of integrating sources smoothly and accurately

IV. Are the “solutions” the writer proposes specific? Realistic? Compelling?

       Or are the solutions obvious or vague?

Yes they are specific and realistic to your topic and are possible to help the issue

V.  For what audience does the essay seem intended? Has the writer provided enough 

       information to convince the intended audience that there is indeed a problem as well as
      feasible solutions?

Has provided enough evidence for the intended audience and there is indeed a problem as well as showing a solution

VI.  Does the writer address any potential opposition (i.e., those who don’t agree)?
      Yes shows both sides of the issue writing about 

VII. Did the writer document their sources properly? Note any incorrect formatting.

Not yet they are not in alphabetical order

VIII. Were there any major grammatical or spelling problems?  

Nothing major just a few here and there needs another round of proofreading

IX. Make at least three suggestions for improvement. What should the writer focus on next?

1. Another round of proofreading to make sure you get all the comas
2. Work on your conclusion to make it stronger
3. Make sure your sources are alphabetical

Paper two rough draft:

Evan Glynos

Paper #2

Professor Jacobs

3/7/23

During the mid 2000’s cyberbullying was introduced into society. Cyberbullying has continued into today’s everyday culture. Cyberbullying has played a big factor in the younger generations growing up because they have grown up around social media.

In this generation children are introduced to social media at an earlier age than other generations. With this issue it causes more lack of social skills and human interactions. With this issue it can cause students to cyber bully more than before. This being an issue with social media can cause a higher suicidal rate. With this issue it can cause a higher suicidal rate at a younger age. With the way cyberbullying is today compared to how it was 5 years ago. The rates of cyberbullying have gone up within the last few years due to the increase in social media. This has caused cyberbullying to be more popular than the usual face to face bullying. While a great amount of the population today do not agree with bullying there are a small number of people who do. The ones who agree with bullying argue that it builds character and makes that person stronger for life. The other side of the argument would be how this would cause people mental health issues and cause the fear of being able to be in public spaces that they are not comfortable in. With the younger generation not being able to feel comfortable going out into the real world it causes more social awkwardness. With the social interactions being limited it will cause more cyber bullying issues in the future.

Cyberbullying has been done in many ways involving social media. Many ways people will go about it is by creating fake accounts and posting pictures of a person or multiple people without the person’s consent to be posted. This issue causes people to have insecurities because they get made fun of clothing that is worn or body appearance. 

Paper two final draft:

Evan Glynos

Paper #2

Professor Jacobs

3/24/23

The Uprise of Cyberbullying

During the mid 2000s, cyberbullying was introduced into society.  Cyberbullying has become one of the substantial problems in the modern world and has continued into today’s everyday culture. The introduction of cyberbullying has played a big factor in the lives of younger generations because they have grown up around social media. In this time period, children are introduced to social media at an earlier age. Social media causes more lack of social skills and human interactions and  can cause students to cyber bully more than before. This has caused cyberbullying to be more popular than the usual face to face bullying. 

Cyberbullying has been done in many ways involving social media. Many ways people will go about it is by creating fake accounts and posting pictures of a person or multiple people without the person’s consent to be posted. This issue causes individuals to have insecurities because they get made fun of clothing that is worn or body appearance. With this problem on the rise, it has provided a platform for people of all kinds to create multiple personalities online compared to in person. Cyberbullying affects the mass population, not just teenagers. There are even middle schoolers who are just trying to fit in and people online who are so called  “internet trolls”. These trolls 

make fake accounts and go after anyone and anything including celebrities. Unfortunately, there is always the possibility that someone who sees cyberbullying happen will think it’s the cool thing to do and want to do it themselves. This is because if someone see’s cyberbullying they might want to do it themselves because they would believe it’s the right thing to do. As Maria Konnikova writes in the article “The Limits of Friendships,” “We learn how we are and aren’t supposed to act by observing others and then having opportunities to act out our observations ourselves” (Konnikova). This shows that at a young age you are not only taught how to have social skills; you also learn how to act by what is seen around us. Instead, you learn it along the way. If children are seeing bullying on social media, it will eventually have an effect on them and possibly make them cyberbully as well.

The matter in question with social media and the cyber bullying that comes from it can cause a higher suicide rate can cause a higher suicide rate at younger ages. With the way cyberbullying is today compared to how it was 5 years ago. The rates of cyberbullying have gone up within the last few years due to the increase in social media. Between the ages individuals have been bullied ranges from the ages of 6 years of age and up. Over the last 10 years of people who have reported bullying “82.8%” (Cook) has been a form of cyberbullying. These forms of cyberbullying consist of many 

different platforms such as social media, online video games and many other options. The number of face to face bullying has decreased because of these platforms used. 

With face to face bullying it is easier to control because you are limited to the people you would see on an everyday basis such as children at school.

 The ones who agree with bullying argue that it builds character and makes that person stronger for life. “In the sandpit of life, when somebody kicks sand in your face, you can’t get out of the sandpit. You have to deal with it, learn, and compromise.” (Konnikova) This quote by Konnikova Shows that if you get sand kicked in your face how do you react? do you throw sand back or do you leave it be and walk away. This is the same for bullying: you have the option to turn around and go bully someone else or you can be the bigger person and stand up to and not let it happen. The other side of the argument would be how this would cause people mental health issues and cause the fear of being able to be in public spaces that they are not comfortable in. With the younger generation not being able to feel comfortable going out into the real world it causes more social awkwardness. In the article “The Coddling of the American Mind”  by Greg lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt it says “The current movement is largely about emotional well-being.”(Lukianoff and Hadit) Nowadays people care more about mental health and the effects it can have on you, than how it was many years ago when you were told to toughen up and get over it.

Cyberbullying can have serious consequences for its victims, including depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. Victims may feel isolated and alone, and they may be afraid to speak out or seek help. While bullying has always been in the modern world, cyberbullying makes it so much easier for things that would not be said 

to be known or the rumors to spread even faster. One picture posted online could make people upset and could cause a domino effect to happen. It makes them feel that they have power over the ones who post it. That makes them realize they don’t have a choice but to accept it so that it doesn’t get a label sent upon them no matter what the outcome will be. The actions that are placed upon social media makes everything you need to come out in the bright light. 

 It is important for parents, teachers, and other adults to be aware of the signs of cyberbullying and to take action to prevent it. With everyone having access to the internet in a matter of seconds cyberbullying is second nature as much as putting on shoes and walking outside. Since social media is slowly becoming the major source of communication withs friends and family across the country and the world it makes cyberbullying be inevitable for any age. With the younger generations trying to express themselves in a healthy way showing they are maturing while gaining freedom online, this leads to people getting bullied online since they posted something that someone didn’t like. This includes when someone sees what someone posts on social media and then uses it in school to make the bullying be even worse.